1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
