what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
