I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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