stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
