he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
