i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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