Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
