Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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