I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
