Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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