Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
whose ass print is on the piano?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
