I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
