I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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