so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
