I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
