yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
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