i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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