booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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