I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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