My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize