every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
