I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
