it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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