oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
