You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
