it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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