well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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