Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
