hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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