How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
