Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
