Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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