True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
