Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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