I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
