We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
