he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
