Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
