I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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