You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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