PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
