so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
