So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
