If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
