My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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