he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize