Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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