I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize