ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
