Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
