yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
