I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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