you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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