dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
