How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
