I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
