On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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