He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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