You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Bring me that man meat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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