Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How naked do you want me to be?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
